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Mom Envy

22 October 2010 13 Comments

By Krystal Edwards-Dykema

Oh my Gosh, Becky! Look at her stroller! It is so cute. That’s the new (*insert designer stroller name here*).

Have you ever caught yourself saying this? I can almost guarantee that 99.9% of you have checked out another moms gear while at the park/mall/playgroup etc. What is her diaper bag/stroller/car seat like? What kind of clothes are they wearing? What about their baby? What kind of toy are they playing with?

As my friend says: “No matter which stroller you get, there’s always a mom with a better one”.  I think it’s normal to check out your surroundings, size up the competition, see what is out there, but at what point does it become too much? When do you cross the line?

I love checking out other strollers and gear and I will fully admit to having a healthy dose of lust over things I have seen: “What do you mean that stroller has a bassinet attachment? That would have been so great when Marley was tiny!” “Look at how effortlessly she maneuvers through the crowds at the mall! Is she pushing that with ONE finger?”, “Look at how small that thing folds!”, “Check out the cup holder!”, “Is that the new (*insert designer name here*) diaper bag she is carrying?”, “Look! Her baby has the (*insert fad toy/teether name here*)!”

The comparisons don’t stop there, you can go one step further: does your neighbour stay-at-home and it’s not feesable for you to do so? Does your friend cloth diaper and you wanted to but Husband wouldn’t? Does your sister in law breastfeed and were you (for one reason or another) not able to? Does your BFF’s husband help out all the time and yours doesnt seem to be so hands on in comparison? Why does that lady at the park with 3 kids make motherhood look so effortless and why is she so put together? How is that lady so skinny already? Isn’t her baby, like, 4 days old? How is her house spotless all the time? Why is her 2 week old baby sleeping through the night and mine is up every 45 miutes? Her 6 month old is crawling?

The list could go on and on… you see what I am getting at.

When you start to examine this further you realize that it could go on and on, there are a million and one things to envy. It’s just a matter of if one chooses to let overshadow everything else. If you have 5 strollers at home, each one better than the last but essentially the same purpose, you may have an issue. Do you purchase things just because it is the trendy thing to do? Are you always lusting after the latest and greatest thing?

I know I have had my moments, but do I choose to let it rule my life, do I beat myself up over it? No, and I work at a kids boutique! I am surrounded by amazing and fancy kids stuff all day long and believe me when I say, I have to practice a lot of self control.

I have come to the conclusion that there is always going to be something that is bigger and better in the always changing and competitive world of Motherhood. These companies that cater to moms, babies and toddlers are smart: they put out new models every year, add new features, put together fancy promotional packages, and don’t forget the “Limited Edition”s that send some moms into a heart pounding tizzy.

If you allow it to, it could take over your life! Sure, I envy, I lust, I dream shop and even swap lives in my head, but when it comes down to it, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. All those little “flaws” that some people see are things that I am building on. Perhaps I am a mom that someone sees and envy’s? (Excuse me while I fall off my chair laughing) Who knows?

So for now I will keep an eye on that “perfect” mom at the park with the fancy 2011 edition European stroller and remind myself that she probably has spit up on that designer yoga jacket of hers.

Krystal is a blogger and member of the BornFree Canada Mom Panel

CONTEST: Do you ever envy other moms?

One person who answers will win a Twin-Pack of BornFree Eco-Friendly Bottles!

The winner is Lori with the email address lgo***@ymail.com. Thanks for entering!

More about our Eco-Friendly Bottles: Eco-Friendly Bisphenol-A Free plastic recyclable bottles come complete with the new innovative air vent that helps minimize colic symptoms.  When you have no more use for it just send it back to BornFree®, free of charge, for recycling into other products lines. Learn More: http://www.newbornfree.com/recycle/

Good luck!

*photo from coochicoos.com/Stokke


  • Melanie said:

    I think EVERY woman/mom does this! We all want to be “Supermom”! :) We have to remember we’re all awesome moms in our own way!

  • Lindsay said:

    Of course there are times when I envy other moms – my baby is pretty darn awesome though, so I don’t let it get to me!

  • Lori said:

    I have serious stroller envy. All the time. I think I could be easily addicted to buying strollers. We currently use the Quinny Zapp but I envy the large-awesomeness of the Maxi Cosi Foray but the envy stops when I realise I would have to haul it up the three stairs in our condo foyer.

    Currently I have stroller envy for Moms with the Phil and Ted Double – and we don’t even have two babies yet! (Yes, I am pathetic) Haha

  • Charlene said:

    As you say, it happens to the best of us, at one time or another, for all different kinds of reasons. I am a stay-at-home Mom, my husband works for the city but really doesn’t make a lot of money, and my kids get and use hand-me-downs all the time. But I have gotten to a point where I really could care less about the material things. That doesn’t make us happy. My loving, hands-on husband, my healthy and unique children, this roof over our heads that keeps us warm at night, the food in our fridge and cupboards that helps sustain us, the support we get from our extended family…these things, coupled with the fact that I get to wake up every day and make a difference in the world by raising three children….this is my happiness. It makes no sense in my mind to dwell on what others have that I do not. I am humbled and thankful every day for all that I DO have. My cup runneth over.

  • Carly said:

    We all do it. I am horrible for it. I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. My five month old is on his 3rd infant car seat because I change my mind so often.lol I am a sucker for Modern baby things, gadgets,top name strollers, and all the baby gear including doubles and triples for every floor in my home. However I am thrifty like crazy! I never buy without a sale or a coupon and I will shop second hand for big name strollers like Phil and Teds or Bug a Boo, they have to be in excellent shape though. But to me a kid in Carter’s is the most adorable at the park. Nothing worse than seeing a small child crammed into designer jeans that they can hardly move in. There comes a point where you have to think about the kids over your own fashion wants. If they can’t climb the slide, you have a problem..lol. They are happy in whatever gear and clothes you can afford to give them. :)

  • Minna said:

    I think every Mom has an envy to another Mom. I certainly do every time I see a cool stroller or see a Mom with their baby they seem so happy. But I know I’m doing my best to keep my son happy and healthy so that keeps me grounded!

  • Leslie said:

    I envy moms who make things look easy, slick jogging strollers, and, when I was pregnant, I envied moms who’d already had their babies because I couldn’t stand the wait!

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