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The Joys of Motherhood by Erica Ashmore

17 February 2011 20 Comments

The last couple of weeks may confirm that Charlie will be an only child.  Do I want to go through all of this again I do not know? Tantrums, not eating? I dunno.

It seems as though I have a new born all over again(ie: sleepless nights) and nothing has changed in our household for his behavior to change.

Motherhood is a learning experience, he is my first child and possibly my last.

Here’s the low down.  He won’t eat anything  but perogies and won’t drink anything….but goats milk.  I have now made it half milk/half water because the dehydration he has is ridiculous.  Dry lips but my Baby Balm cleared that up and a pink tinge in his urine which is another sign of dehydration was getting me into panic mode.

So when your child doesn’t want to eat or drink that translates into some serious constipation and I have been at wit’s end, depressed and devouring Miss.Vickie’s while I research online on “noted” baby/toddler sites.  I have a new roll and my doctor told me it was just a phase, he is other wise active and happy.

Apparently this is a common issue and today I just read it may be a power struggle.  Power struggle at 2?

So tonight I made home made chicken soup and I cooked some brown rice on the side to do the BRAT method because his tummy is sore and his bum is beyond sore from the straining and teething molars.  BRAT stands for banana, rice, applesauce, toast.

I forgot to mention our constipation story, he would be running to go poo every 10-20 min it seemed, and the sound of him straining broke my heart.  So when bed time came it was the same story, he’d be asleep, he’ll wake out of the blue and run and hides to go #2 and come to me for comfort, bless his little heart.  Thank god I use cloth diapers, because I was going through like 3 extra diapers a night and through out the day.  But I am tired and emotionally tired as well as I am baking unsulphated apricot muffins with flax, oats and he turns his nose up to it, I make perogies, no he’s changed his mind he doesn’t want it afterall, he just likes saying perogy.   I make toast with almond butter, honey and banana’s.  Won’t go near it, I feel horrible and break down to my husband but this is not about me, it’s about my son who is driving me crazy!!!

However….I have not had much sleep in the last two days.  Why he won’t drink water, prune juice, apple juice, chamomile tea I do not know.  He used to, so I think it’s psychological as it hurts him to go poo and when it’s time for diaper change, oh my god.  You’d think he was being beaten with the shrieks, however I have come to distract him and high five him when he has #2, this has seemed to work.

What else has seemed to work going back to the whole Power Struggle thing, is tonight he actually ate well! What I did was I gave him a spoon and I had mine to feed him.  I asked him to feed me.  He fed me then I fed him and he ATE!

Hallelujah! After he had soup with brown rice I asked him to feed me apple sauce, I had one bite and he managed to eat all of that as well.

Now we do “cheers!” so he drinks his water/tea/juice but not as much as we’d like but he is drinking.

So if you are going through what I am try what I did, I’d love to know if it works for you like it did for me, even if it’s one night!  At least they ate/drank!  I tell you, I sure miss the days when he was just 6 months old.  It was so easy!

Erica Ashmore is a blogger and BornFreeMom.ca Panel Member

Contest: What is your biggest parenting struggle right now? Leave a comment! Oner person who comments will win a Twist’N'Pop Straw Cup!


  • Lisa M said:

    My biggest parenting struggle at the moment is trying to get my son to eat foods that are not pureed or mashed. He is 11 months old but prefers to be spoon fed rather than feed himself, and prefers pureed or mashed foods rather than small pieces of food. He’s slowly coming along. We had scrambled egg for dinner!

  • Michelle said:

    Our current struggle with our oldest (he’ll be 3 in June) is using the potty. I know he’s not quite ready yet but he’s half way there. He asks for “underwear” (pullups) but they end up wet within 10 minutes. the only time he will use the potty is everynight before bath. He asks for it, we put him on, and its that simple. Through the day is a much different story! There is no way he will use the potty. I’m going to give him a little more time and keep offering the potty without pushing to hard. Hopefully it will start to become appealing. I’m not in any hurry but it would sure be nice not to have 2 in diapers! :)
    We went through the food struggle right around age 2 as well. It can be difficult, he went from eating almost everything to only wanting toast or a grilled cheese. He’s back to eating pretty much everything again now, but wow for awhile it was BAD! There were times we would try up to 6 different “meals” at every sitting.

  • Julia said:

    I had huge constipation issues with my first, b/c all she wanted was milk and cheese. I hate to say it but often in cases like the the best route is to remove the food they want and only leave the choices out that you want him to eat. A BRAT diet if he is constipated is only going to make it worse seeing as how bananas, rice applesauce are all binders. Set out a tray of fruit and/or veggies and a sippy cup of water maybe with a small slice of lemon in it. When he is hungry enough he will eat. I know it seems cruel and he will complain, but they learn quick too.

  • Kristi said:

    Wow, I could feel the pain when reading your story.
    My biggest struggle now is trying to find calcium and nutrient-rich foods for my 15 month old son to eat. He has milk, egg, banana and avocado allergies and b/c of this I have chosen to continue breastfeeding for a few more months. I have started him on soy milk this week and soy yougurt but I silently cry whenever I am shopping for food and think I have come across a food Lucas can eat but when I read the food label I scroll down and it either has contains skim milk (powder) or “may contain traces of…” at the end of the label and then I think the organic section might have food I could buy and still, no luck or little luck. I am frustrated as to what I can feed my son and not put his health/life at risk. I am going back to the Allergist soon for re-testing and then testing for nut allergies but I also want to find out about goats milk.
    Food allergies suck!!!!

  • Lisa said:

    My biggest struggle right now is finding the time to devote one on one time with my two older sons. I don’t want them to feel like their 6 month old little brother is taking all of their Mommy time away from them. My 11 year old understands, but I miss when it was just him and I. My 5 year old is getting his Mommy time tomorrow when I go and help out in his class for the afternoon. He’s so excited!!! I know that in a few years I’ll be wishing for them to spend time with me when they’d rather be with their friends. So at this moment I guess I have to take what I can get and try and split myself in three different ways. It’s really hard at times and I feel really drained, but I’d do anything for my boys and I hope they know that.

  • Erica Ashmore said:

    Sorry just wanted to clarify….on BRAT.
    Because he is straining, the #2′s have been kinda liquidy which is why I wanted to try BRAT. He’s also not drinking enough fluids, he only wants milk which makes things worse so I’ve given him toast, brown rice and gentler foods. It seems to have helped.

  • Jenn @ Beautiful Calling said:

    I have a just-turned-four year old daughter and a 2 year old son. So far, I haven’t had too many issues with JOhn (2) but Chloe? Another story. It was as if she turned 4 (in January) and decided to challenge me about everything and give me attitude about everything. Prior to that birthday, life was pretty sweet around here.

    Praying it’s a phase, trying to be firm yet patient…I agree that parenting is a learning curve….a never-ending one and definitely a challenge not for the faint of heart.

    {Your pic reminds me of App’s Mill – a beautiful nature spot near us!}

  • Mama Ash said:

    Thanks! It’s actually in the heart of Toronto at Yonge and St.Clair in the ravine that we live close too.

    This was my hike to get Charlie out, he came out the next day!

  • Sarah Ahmad said:

    My biggest parenting struggle with my 4 year old daughter right now is getting her to listen to me when I ask her to do something. She takes her sweet time in doing daily tasks like going to the washroom to brush her teeth or changing into her pj’s at night. I keep reminding myself that this too is a phase that shall pass and for the time-being I have to work on making her a better listener.

  • Gail S. said:

    My biggest struggle right now is trying to wean my daughter off of nursing. She’s 10 1/2 months and I am going back to work soon. She hates bottles but is testing out some sippies. But, when it comes to actually taking milk in a cup/bottle/anything – no way. She just won’t sit and drink. She always took well to nursing and obviously doesn’t want to give it up. Babies can be so particular. :)

  • Karen said:

    Our biggest challenge is eating/ feeding. Switching to bite size, chunky, feed yourself, toddler foods from baby food. It’s not my 10 month old son’s issue- I think it’s more mine. I am so paranoid and scared of him choking! I recently gave him some lightly toasted toast with butter but in miniscule pieces, as well as pieces of sliced cheese, so small he could hardly pick it up. I give these to him one at a time cause if I give him more than 1- he tries to put them all in his mouth & he gags. He is eating Baby Mum Mums quite well- half at a time. He has 2 bottom teeth only. When do you let go & give “toast strips” or pieces of soft veggies or multiple bite sized pieces of things? When will I have the courage to give him bigger pieces???

  • Barb W said:

    Our biggest, and really only issue right now is sleep! My son is 5 months and believes he needs to party in the middle of the night. He falls asleep easy but staying asleep is a whole different ballgame.

  • Kristen said:

    The only thing worse then having 1 toddler is 2 ;) I may not be at the stage yet, I’ve got a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old but boy oh boy are we close. I dread the day that I am in the middle of 2 toddler wars!! I love my boys and wouldn’t trade them for the world, in fact we are talking about having another (a loooooooooooooong way down the road of course) but some days I think I need to be checked into a mental institute and issued a straight jacket!! And to think everyone says the teenage years are worse. PSH!! They obviously don’t remember clearly, or I am just that niave! I wanna wish good luck to anyone with a toddler, and crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer that we all make it out of this stage alive!

  • Avery said:

    We’re going through a few right now, our daughter will be turning 3 in April, but you’d think she was 13 lol

    She is in a huge talking back stage, and selective listening (but then again when don’t they do that), I just weaned her off the breast so now we’re going through the eating phase -even though it was present the whole time, I wasn’t overly worried since I could decide what I ate to give to her.

    We just got a puppy boston terrier that pees and poops in the house so now she is doing the same, even though we’ve been diaper free (still wearing 1 at night) for almost 7 months.

    Needles to say, I am beyond frustrated…lol I just keep telling myself this will all eventually pass, , fingers crossed :-P lol

  • Wen said:

    My biggest parenting struggle is trying to juggle going back to work full-time and being a mom. It is so tough to balance demands at work and at home. I was 6 month pregnant when I finished my Masters degree and on the road towards a management promotion. Now I just don’t know if I should be working as hard as I was before or just doing the minimum required of me and being happy with the career that I have. I adore my little girl and we spend tons of quality time together. She is just so wonderful – good eater, loves daycare, sleeps at least 11 hours at night and still naps 2 hours everyday… I have no complaints but wonder if I decide to pursue a promotion now will I regret it in a year. I’d love it if you do a blog entry on working moms!

  • Larissa B. said:

    My biggest struggle right now with my three year old son is the potty. He was going to the bathroom fine a few days ago and we even got him some big boy undies but for the last few days he refuses to use the potty because he says he’s scared, and if I put him in pull-ups or his undies he just holds it.
    I also have a 2 year old daughter with special needs and twin girls that are 1. As a whole the hardest thing I’m dealing with now is dividing my time between all the kids and the house work. The only thing that keeps me sane sometimes is my strict routine, without it I’d go nuts I think ;)

  • Carrie Dodd said:

    I have decided not to make mealtime a struggle. Some days he’ll eat something and the next day he won’t. I put out some of what I know he likes and once in a while something new and that’s it!! No more making several dishes for one meal. This morning he only had a few bites of waffle with strawberries before it ended up on the floor so I took the meal away and that was it. He’ll eat when he’s hungry. He had a good snack and ok lunch. I just think mealtimes can be really stressful if we let it get that way. Oh and my son is always constipated but little pebbles that don’t hurt coming out and he drinks plenty. I was like that too at his age apparantly.

  • Shauneen said:

    Right now I am dealing with dinner time and sitting down as a family.

  • Leslie said:

    Wow! I knew that 2 year olds could be willful, but I didn’t know that power struggles could affect their own health. And here I thought 5 months was a struggle! Thanks for reminding me that we’re all human, and sometimes things suck, even when you’re doing the best you can for your child.

  • danielle said:

    Oh MamaAsh… the doctor is right, this is just a phase for Munchkin Charlie, TRUST ME!!

    A power struggle at 2-yup… and it continues, I have a 5year old, going on 15 with her attitude… she’s in kindergarten now so she knows everything!

    Fill him up with apple sauce, water melon, and oranges…

    Don’t give up on having a second baby- take it from me, a mama who had 3 babies in 4 years… there is nothing more heartwarming and gratifying than watching siblings bond together.

    Give it time, think with your heart not you emotions!!

    ps- since when was there a rule about eating too many perogies?!!!!

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